Self Justification…A lie

The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the Lord. All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the spirit. Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established. The Lord has made everything for its purpose, even the wicked for the day of trouble. Everyone who is arrogant in heart is an abomination to the Lord; be assured, he will not go unpunished. By steadfast love and faithfulness iniquity is atoned for, and by the fear of the Lord one turns away from evil. When a man’s ways please the Lord, he makes even his enemies to be at peace with him. Better is a little with righteousness than great revenues with injustice. The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.

Proverbs 16:1-9

The last few months have been a wild ride through some sketchy wilderness on a personal level and that doesn’t include anything that I have seen on a societal level within our country and communities. I have sat in silence since April knowing I needed to write, that the Holy Spirit has been nagging me every day to just sit, soak, and write His words down on the page of all that I do not understand. That is terrifying, writing on what I don’t understand, and don’t trust His goodness and timing with. So instead I have sat with this knowing that I should write even though, I feel like I can’t, and have allowed Satan to come and attack, picking away at my trust in the knowledge and wisdom of the Holy Spirit. Satan strategically got me believing that the distance and procrastination I put between me and writing was justified, and that I had fallen too far from my walk to step back into that Secret Place. Not sure where you are, but if you have experienced anything like I have, then I hope like me, the Holy Spirit has pressed upon your heart that this is a LIE. Last week I finally got to sit for 3hrs reading the Living Word and bam, instantly I realized God was fully present and had been waiting for me to just give into this nagging and stop justifying my avoidance of His presence, believing He wouldn’t show up for me. Somewhere in the last 5 months I began to believe that He wouldn’t show up for me, because other people in my life with a walk stopped showing up. I justified distancing myself from Truth, and came into agreement with lies because of pain, hurt, lack of understanding, and inability to receive encouragement/rebuke from my usual community of people. Satan is sneaky like that, He will make you believe that you are unworthy of the goodness of God, because of the behavior of people. And so you justify your pain, your disappointment, grief, frustration, etc. at the expense of your relationship with a Heavenly Father who deeply desires daily continual relationship with Him no matter what life throws at you. You are never not enough for Him, and no matter how far you fall believing lies of the enemy, the Father will pick you back up.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? “My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.”

Hebrews 12:1-6

So this word on self justification, hits home and it hits hard, but I believe is not just a word for me, but for everyone. We all walk each day believing we are justified in all kinds of thinking and behavior, when we aren’t. If it is not of Truth, if it is not of God, the immeasurable, immovable purveyor of wisdom, honesty, and justice, then it is NOT for us, HIS PEOPLE. We forget who we belong to and who we are image bearers of, because we get stuck in the world and believing what we see, when we are called to believe the unseen Holy presence of God that rests upon us each day. We justify what we think and do because we see things, take them at face value, believe them, which then blinds our spiritual eyes from seeing what God is working in us and in our communities. We step away from our faith and take our eyes away from the one true King, and we become what we behold. At some point, like me, you realize Jesus was no longer who you were looking at and your lens changed to what you see, not what He sees.

We are lead to repentance, a place of humility where we no longer wallow, justifying our emotions, feelings, inward, or even outward behavior. Living in a place where you can’t escape swirl of processing your surroundings, passing conclusions or judgements on your current life circumstance is a dangerous, prideful place to be. You have set yourself in the judgement seat, the one who should have answers and solutions, eliminating God’s plan, righteous judgement, and truth to enter into the space. You have attached to and accepted your sinful state as your truth and place of living, rather than committing your pride and passing judgement to God. In an instance you have belittled the work of the cross, and who Jesus truly is in your life. I did that, and justifying my feelings put a wall up between me and a Holy walk with Christ which I hold near and dear. BUT because of the grace God gives, the Holy Spirit woos each of us back into His presence, and leads us into repentance and restoration of our hearts. The Father prunes back the growth that wasn’t from Him, and restores you to who you are called to be. We just have to come to a place of humility in our broken state, allowing the absolute, irrevocable forgiveness of God to wash over us. He goes above and beyond not to just accept us back, but instead tugs at us, convicts us, and then welcomes us with open arms. His faithfulness will always overcome our lack of faith and disobedience. His grace is greater than our circumstance.

Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed. Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled; 

Hebrews 12:12-14

I don’t have all of the answers, nor does God always provide them in the timing I want, but what He does do is call me to look at Him, and not the circumstances right in front of me. You and I are called to look beyond the seen into the unseen. In this obedience we can have full assurance of faith (Hebrews 10:19-39), that the Father will provide peace over our souls (John 16:33), and help straighten our paths (Jeremiah 31:9) so we may speak and walk in a manner pleasing to God (Colossians 1:10). When we get here, where what we see physically, is no longer all consuming; the importance of trying to control, solve, and fix the problem before us fades away. Instead we give way for the Holy Spirit to lead each day and help us live in a way where we are truly justified before God, honoring the sacrifice of His Son, Jesus Christ.

We are called to humility rather than pride that ensnares us into believing we can justify our behavior and thinking. In this we tear down the barrier we built between us and the Holy Spirit. In our acceptance of our sin in feeling justified in our behavior and belief, we deny ourselves the comfort and wisdom the Good Shepherd provides. We deny His pursuit of our whole heart. We make everything loud, busy and clanging to drown out the Truth and revelation God wants to bring to us. Each of us are called to step out of our wallowing, self righteousness, suffering, pride, or circumstance so we an see beyond the physical. We need to acknowledge the forgiveness and grace extended to us by a Heavenly Father who knows us best. Our lives are not comfortable, and we aren’t meant to chase comforts of what we perceive to be true. Our true Comfort is defined by the pursuit of our Father no matter what we are struggling with. We can choose to overcome suffering recognizing God’s hand in it or we can allow suffering to become a dividing wall. Pick up your Sword, and cut down the sin you have accepted as the truth, and let go of justifying your behavior. God is our one true righteous judge, and because of His Son, we are able to be justified before Him, we are just asked to commit our lives to His continual shaping and molding. You are never lost to the Creator, just accept His pursuit, and allow Him to be the refiner and definer of your life.

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen.

1 Peter 5:6-11