Letting Go of the longing

…for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

Phillipians 4:11b-12

I’ve been deeply challenged with letting go of the previous season of my life. The previous season of supernatural growth, amazing community, watching God move regularly amongst the body of believers, and the general supernatural joy around me was SO HARD to let go of. Dare I say I had what felt like one of the best, most exciting years of my life, like being a new believer again, but better. God said step away, you’ve been obedient, there’s a mess you can’t fix, and now there’s no more for you here, it is time to go. That was the hardest thing to hear, especially knowing that God had blessed that season so abundantly and surrounded me with unbelievable community and support. I was determined to be obedient in His call despite the immense hurt and pruning that would follow. Even once I stepped away and took a leap of faith, that didn’t mean that all of the sudden I stepped right into the next fantastic thing God had for me. Sometimes God has you step into a barren place of stripping away to see if all that He built you up in the previous season, was enough for you to trust Him. He sometimes tests the fruit and the root growth of the previous season, by dropping us smack in the middle of a wilderness where there’s a stripping of the entire support system you relied on. He wants to see if you will truly trust Him, lean on Him, and stop looking back at what was but rather look at what can be. What can be, is many times unknown to us, but known to God, and that is where He keeps telling us to let go. You have to let go of what you loved, what was good previously, as well as let go of your ideas of what next looks like. Especially let go of your discontentment of where you currently are, marching forward with certainty, knowing there is a next. He wants that entirety of your trust in the process; you have to trust His process no matter how insane or uncomfortable it may seem. He puts us in a place of testing, to see if we are faithful and true, if we truly learned and grew in Him in that bountiful season. Will you be content when God brings you low, to test you, humble you, and press you? Like Paul states above while in a Roman prison, he has found his contentment no matter what is happening around him, because he has Jesus. His outer world doesn’t define his inner peace and sobriety of spirit.

In this struggle of being brought low, the next place many times looks like this barren wilderness, where you feel like you just want to recede from everything, because nothing is what it was. Like sure God is moving, but nothing looks the same, nothing is comfortable, your usual places you turn to in order to fill up your spiritual cup have changed. Taking bold steps with confidence seem impossible and your navigation has gone awry. Satan may even lead you to believe that maybe maybe isn’t that interested in you anymore, that life isn’t filled with Him, that He’s not ever going to come back the same way. Maybe even that He’s done using you in the Church. Satan will try to fill your cup with the lie that the last season was the best season, and that it is never coming back, and certainly won’t be better than before. Satan coaxes you into looking into the rear view mirror wishing for the past, keeping you stuck there, distracting you from what God really wants to do in the wilderness. THAT is the true test, will you be stuck in the lie of the Enemy that you’ve lived your best, and there is nothing more? Or will you combat the lies of the Enemy, announce to him that you are built on the rocks, the pillar of Truth, and that you KNOW your God will never forget you, forsake you, or make you believe He’s done His best with you and now He’s done. That is the test, that is where we find out just how deep our roots are even when everything the world can see looks dead in you. We know if Paul had succumbed to this lie of the enemy at any point when he was imprisoned or was faced with adversity, we wouldn’t have most of the New Testament, and he wouldn’t be a mighty warrior for the kingdom of God. We wouldn’t have every glorious writing God spoke through Paul, saying every difficult thing we endure is worth it for the sake of the gospel.

By the end of Paul’s life he was probably crippled physically from so many torturous encounters, but he never let previous beatings or imprisonment stop him from advancing the kingdom. He never looked back and said wow I just wish that really great comfortable and beautiful season had lasted forever. No, he endures, pressing on and encouraging others to fight the good fight even when you’ve been pruned to the stump. You look like that bush someone pruned to the ground that no one ever thought would grow back, yet you do. God is doing a quiet work, slowly deepening that foundation fed on His fountain of living water. The growth is not yet upward for anyone even maybe yourself to really see, it is downward deepening in resilience in Him. The path may be unknown, you may only know one step at a time, but that obedience, lead to resilience, and got you to the other side. No matter how much life has kicked you in the face, God is not done, and we are victorious because of Christ’s finished work. We fight from victory, not for it. The challenge is that even in the dark places, we must be found believing in our victory even though we haven’t physically seen it.

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Phillipians 4:4-7

Paul’s best writings came from the most difficult places of pressing, and in his encouragement of the church of Phillipi and many others, he knows many will face wilderness, tempting, testing, and adversity. Yet he calls us to rejoice, do not be anxious, pray no matter what, give thanks, and find peace in Jesus to guard yourself against the enemy. Despite our surroundings being in upheaval, our outer world seemingly crashing, and our inner world fretting, there is One who remains who is not. Even when you long for what is lost, struggle with the change in reality, and know life has to go forward in some direction you don’t understand, Jesus remains steadfast. He is the anchor to our soul, and the reason for living. He defines our future when we can’t see right in front of ourselves. He already wrote it into the heavens that we have much to look forward to and Him to look to when life kicks us down. He sanctifies us in the struggle if we put our joy, hope, and trust in Him in the process. He wants to see us grow deeper roots, so we can grow better fruit, more beautiful flowers, and stronger branches. There is no way to overcome wilderness places without Jesus, because He is the way, the truth, and the life. He is the path we follow when hell breaks loose, the truth we believe when the enemy lies to us, and the life breathed into us when we want to give in. Jesus wants to breathe life into you, so you can grow up out of the ground and testify to depths of which He’s grown you.

Leaving the wilderness behind is when you can let go of the longing of what was, so you can embrace what is. You have to come to a place of finding joy in Jesus with what is in front of you, even when you don’t understand. God wants your trust and your faith in His grand design for your life. You have to believe that He has more for you, that your ministry, your impact, your presence, your place in the world as a warrior for His kingdom is actively and carefully sculpted in the dark at times. You have to let go of what you know and take hold of what you don’t, submitting yourself to Him completely. In our submission and obedience in the hard places, we find a supernatural peace, rest, and reset for our spirit. You will know the moment you step out from that wilderness, when the testing is finished, and the coals of your heart are fanned to flame, there is a much greater understanding of who Jesus is to you, and why He is called Faithful and True. There is an even greater testimony of faith and impartation of wisdom ready to be poured out on the people around you. There is no longer a looking back wishing for the past season, that’s like wishing for flowers that have died, and shriveled when winter came. It is time for new flowers, greater beauty, and more supernatural glory. The new will not look like the old, because you are different, you have changed, you have become wiser, more mature in the Spirit; purified through God’s goodness, grace, and kindness in your stumbling. It is time to step forward, grow up out of the ground, and shine in the light. Press on to the call of Christ in your life and do not succumb to the enemy. Do not long for what was, rather walk forward in what is and trust He has your back and there’s a greater season ahead. You are a citizen of heaven, an adopted child of the Most High God, and friend of the Savior who gave everything for you, so don’t let the past stop you from living in the present and pressing on towards the future.

I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you. Only let us hold true to what we have attained. Brothers, join in imitating me, and keep your eyes on those who walk according to the example you have in us. For many, of whom I have often told you and now tell you even with tears, walk as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their end is destruction, their god is their belly, and they glory in their shame, with minds set on earthly things. But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power that enables him even to subject all things to himself.

Philippians 3:17-21